I never cared much for pot. Although I was a teenager in the 70’s and lots of folks were smoking it, I just never liked the “i know they know what I’ve been doing, are they talking about me, watching me?” type of paranoia. Oh, I smoked it from time to time- maybe two tokes or so, but never got what I would call “over the line high” on it. I just didn’t like it that much.
However, once I met a guy at the State Fair of Texas- Clyde. Man, was he hot! Raven hair, steamy blue eyes and dimples so deep one could fall into them. We rode rides, ate cotton candy and generally bummed around at the fair with our best friends in tow. There was a bit of a drawback. Clyde lived in Houston and I in Richardson. He had been in Dallas on some kind of job and was going back early the next morning. We kept in touch and he invited me to spend the week with him in Houston. I eagerly said yes – anticipating a great spring break.
The first few minutes after my arrival, Clyde lit up what I thought was just a joint. It was more than that. It had opium rolled up in it- black as tar opium. Oh my. The opium seemed to soften the paranoia I felt with regular ol’ pot. We all stayed stoned for the duration of the week, smoking opium every chance we got. One fine, sunny afternoon, we smoked some and went to the zoo. I had the best time I’d ever had at the zoo – or at least that’s what I thought. It’s been so long now, I don’t remember. Clyde sent me home with some pot/opium joints and I thought it was very nice he did that.
When I got home, though, there was no one to smoke it with and it didn’t seem like so much fun. I realized while by myself, looking down at the joints, I could become very addicted to this opium high. I really enjoyed it and I felt very mellow with it in my system. I remembered hearing that those who drink alone were generally addicts and figured it worked out that way for those who smoked alone too. I never wanted to be dependent on anything or anyone and I chose to throw it down the toilet. I know! I know! I am so glad I did, though. It was a difficult thing to do, but for me- it was the right decision. My friend, Kim and I always had a saying of sorts… or really just an understanding that we were on a natural high and didn’t really need anything to provide that for us. And we were right.
I tell this story to say addiction is hard. If you are not addicted yet, to whatever your drug of choice is, get rid of it. A natural high is much better in the long run. Already addicted to something? You can get help at your local N/A or AA programs. They used to say addiction is a monkey on your back. I haven’t heard that in a long time, but that is exactly what it is. Addiction is a tough thing to beat, but it can be done. Don’t go down that road… alone or with a friend. It just isn’t worth it. Find a meeting and run, don’t walk to get your life back. Be strong . Have courage.