Steven Farquharson, one of the bloggers I follow, wrote in “Design Your Days to Design Your Life” he didn’t know where his life was going. I got to thinking about that and I wonder if any of us really ever know. As Steven states, he “has goals, plans, but no way to know whether any of them will work out. ” I felt I had to write about this because I never knew what my life was going to be about, what I was going to do with it, but that I wanted to make some kind of mark while I’m here. The problem was – I never really believed I would live past 30 anyway to plan any kind of life. I thought I would have killed myself long before I was 30. A diagnosis of bipolar is not really a happy-let’s-plan-my-life-now kind of diagnosis. Life is uncertain at best- unpredictable, but with bipolar- even more so. Now, don’t misunderstand- I’m not whining and I will eventually get to my point.
There was a time- in the 70’s when I wanted to be a medical technologist, then a radio news personality. I worked in grocery stores, baby stores, I worked for a time at Raytheon as a person who obtained clearances for others. I’ve done alot. I thought -in my teens- that I wanted to be some kind of missionary- was sure God had called me to help out somewhere with someone. I thought that meant I would go to some kind of foreign country. In fact, what it meant was that I was to meet and marry a man from Scotland! Also what it meant, was I was to work with others who had autism, or the aged, or the homeless, or my own children.
When I look back on my life, I feel like I am a sort of Jack -of -all-trades -master of nothing. There are so many things I love doing, now that I have lived a good 27 more years than I thought I would. I love painting, art, crafting, writing, learning, riding my horse, loving my animals, being silly and loving passionately those I can help and those who will let me love them and help them.
So, we can plan our lives- we can say we are going to be this or that. It might work out- it might not. What is important – at least to me- is that I live right, according to my belief in God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, that I do right by my fellow man and that I “love my neighbor as myself.” That’s a successful life in my eyes. Great post,Steven.