Over and Done- For Now

The crash is finally over. I began to feel better when I woke up this morning and feel even better now. It begins when a smile finds itself creeping upon my face. Maybe my eyes squint when I feel the smile on my lips. It’s a feeling of wellness felt deep down -a feeling that hell has left my body, my soul and I can breathe a little bit.

Crashing from a manic phase is – well, it is almost indescribable- except to say I feel no joy, no hope, nothing. Not flat- just lower than low.  When it is finished and I’m back to my old self – well, there is nothing more amazing.

If you wonder why I carry on so about bipolar, what it’s like, how it feels, – well, it’s to educate anyone and everyone. Back when I was diagnosed, every time there was a shooting in Dallas, it was a person with “bipolar.” Well, I’m here to let everyone know we are not all violent offenders. We are regular people trying to deal with a somewhat devastating condition not only for us, but for our families. Bipolar affects tens of millions of people and some very famous people such as Vincent Van Gogh, Vivien Leigh , of Gone with the Wind fame, newslady Jane Pauley, Carrie Fischer  and the list goes on and on. These people struggled to keep their lives going despite the peaks and valleys. If they can, I know I can and so can you.

Vivien Leigh
Vivien Leigh
Artistic genius Van Gogh
Artistic genius Van Gogh
Jane Pauley
Jane Pauley
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4 thoughts on “Over and Done- For Now

  1. Paula, this sounds awful. I am so sorry you have to go thru it. I will pray for you and for all people suffering with bipolar. I am ignorant about this disease? Is it called a disease? I know it’s hard to get the right medication for your body. Doesn’t it stop the really highs and terrible lows? Thanks for sharing. Hugs

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    1. Thank you so much. While it is classified as bipolar disorder, it is labelled a mental illness. It is an imbalance in the chemical structure in the brain. In the old days, it was called manic-depressive. I’ve been with the same doctor for 20 years and she has, with God’s help, brought me so far that I can say I was non-functional at one point. I hardly have mood swings with such crashes anymore. Usually, it’s because I have too much going on at once and then I just can’t handle it. Thank you so much for asking and thank you for your prayers.

      Liked by 1 person

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