It’s My Party !

I am the baby of my family, so it only makes since that when my birthday comes along, I should celebrate the whole week. After all, that’s what I did as a kid. I announced it was my birthday week on the Sunday. I still do. I like to make the whole week special. I might not do anything different than I do any other day, but the difference is inside. Have you ever wondered what that feeling inside was long about the time of your birthday? It’s you! It’s that excited feeling you get at Christmas even though you are 58 years old, the excitement you feel when it’s finally fall, the excitement you feel when it is your own birthday or even the excitement when you have planned a surprise for someone else and you can’t wait to give it to them. And it’s the excitement you feel when your book is being released. Impervious excitement. Unbridled excitement. Going to the fair excitement. Six Flags excitement.

I know people moan and groan when their birthday rolls around. But,  I really think deep down inside we all feel that excitement. I don’t think birthday excitement will ever wane for me- not even if I live to be 100!

So, please excuse my excitement. Birthdays have always been special and it will always be so. Oh, and when is the actual day? Why thank you for asking. I’ll just put it here, so you won’t forget!

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You May Not Believe it to Look at Me, But..

…I will, tomorrow, be the mother of a forty (40) year old woman! yes~ me! I’m the mom. I remember it like yesterday. I began having Braxton-Hicks contractions and had, in fact gone to the hospital a night or two before. But this time, they kept me, admitted me I was fairly concerned that my baby was to be born on Friday, December 13, 1974. I was hoping it would be good luck for the baby. I believed in that sort of thing back then.Anyway, my mother took me to the hospital since my ex-husband was working construction or some such job and was unreachable. I was 17 years old. We didn’t know whether we were having a boy or girl. We’d had a sonogram, but they didn’t tell you that sort of thing back then. It wasn’t even an option- “do you want to know? ” was never asked because , well, because doctors probably didn’t know or want to be wrong about the sex. So, better not to tell.

As a 17 year old soon-to-be mother, I had some very romantic ideas about this baby. If it was a girl, she would run through the wheat fields (I wonder what wheat fields- we lived in the city) , the wind blowing her long blonde hair behind her as she ran. (now, I picture Fabio and his hair- only longer!) She would be a free spirit, barefoot all the time, daisies in her hair.(Can you tell i was a hippie?) If it was a boy- it would have been all boy, playing with GI Joes, hammering nails and playing with screwdrivers. Baseball, football, soccer, all that … for “mah boy.” Not too many ideas about boys since I’d only played with my boy cousins when I was little.Rough and tumble and stuff.

Back to my saga.I was in labor a good 16 hours when my daughter, Amanda, finally decided to show up. 3:46 am. It’s a girl!  After a while, she did have golden, long hair, curly, kind of, with a bit of wave ,blue eyes,barefoot only for a while because reality hit and she had to wear corrective shoes.Just as cute as a bug in a rug. People thought we were sisters, infuriating me then, flattering me now.

We’ve had  our ups and downs, good times and bad, but she is, by far my favorite girl, my real first love. We’ve had the most fun a mother and daughter can have and some of the darkest times a mother and daughter could have. I love her more than I ever thought I would love anyone and we can pretty much read each other’s mind. Oh my- that’s scary. So, happy birthday my little girl. It doesn’t matter how old you get , I’ll still love you! hahahahhhahahah.

Happy birthday sweet girl. we love you
Happy birthday sweet girl. we love you

Growing Older Together

Stephen, my love, Happy Birthday!
Stephen, my love, Happy Birthday!

Today is my best friend’s birthday. My husband, my lover, my everything- is a year older today. It seems like yesterday when we met at Tom Thumb’s tobacco bar. Only wanting to buy  “two packets of Marlboro”, he ended up with a girlfriend and then a wife and then children and then grandchildren. I, on the other hand, ended up with a best friend, a husband, a father, a mentor, and someone I look up to every day. Who would have ever thought ?

We have had fun, sorrow, love, hate, joy, sadness and humdrumness together. And isn’t that the way it should be? We married- he adopted my daughter, loved her like his own always,  we had two boys. We divorced. We were terrible at it. We missed each other, loved each other , called each other, remarried. The second time around- bliss- not all the time- most of the time.Every day I am grateful this man waited for me to gather my craziness and marry me  all over again anyway. 

I look forward to the next year, awaiting new experiences, deeper love, laughter and pure -D silliness. I love you honey. Happy birthday.